Musings of a Transitioner: On Letting Go

One of the first major realizations that hit me like a rock when I entered the workforce is the reality that I won’t be seeing my close friends as often as I want anymore. All of us track our own paths now. We are already enclosed in the vicious cycle of a 5 or 6 day workweek which deprives us of so little leeway to do the other things we would rather be doing than work. Most of us, even if we do get the time or opportunity would be prioritizing something else. Still some would meet new souls which could relate to them more, or interest them more as of the moment. The truth is, I only have a very weak grip to my most cherished friendships.

When this thought struck me, it ached to look at the future with the imminent reality that I had to let go of some (if not most) of these friendships soon to the point that it terrifies me. I never dealt with farewell too well ever since. Perhaps, it’s also because I don’t make friends so easily, so when I do, I really mark them as my friend, forever.

These past few days, nostalgic memories of several friends just haunt me. Call me clingy. Perhaps, I’m not just used to not seeing them for so long yet. I miss them. I wonder if they miss me too.

Just a day before, I saw a close friend across the railroad track of the MRT. We just waved hi and goodbye to one another. I would have wanted to talk to him, ask him how his current job is going, if he met new friends already, and the like just like how we’d catch up during college. But that particular evening, we both just stayed put where we stand and still ride towards opposite directions.

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Life.

I wonder how much more scenarios like that would I come across in the near future.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not being unfriendly or unsociable. I would very much love to meet new people and that excites me too. But maybe, all of us can only maintain a maximum number of a few close people we can enjoy life with as of the moment.

I read a quote once that says that there are people who we are meant to be with for one moment, one season of our lives, or one whole lifetime. Whoever they are, they are placed there for a certain time period for a particular purpose – it can be to test our character, to teach us a lesson, to encourage us, to strengthen us, to care for us, or ultimately, to love us.

We don’t always get to keep the ones we choose and we don’t necessarily choose the ones we keep. Just like how circumstances in our lives are meant to happen for a reason, people who surround us are also the ones God use to mold us to who we are at a particular moment.

Perhaps, I’d just take comfort in the fact that people who are meant to stay will stay as God would purpose them to be in my life. On the flip side, I am here to be a blessing to all the people I surround. To be present at the moment with them with my whole heart and mind is one of the most important gifts I can offer to them.

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