On Being 23

 

11896473_10207274631042361_424795313301172959_o.pngFor me, being 23 is a paradoxical year to be in. It’s a year when I was both old enough to make decisions on my own yet young still to have the courage to make them anyway.

It’s a year when I enjoyed bouts of childhood coming back – a year I got to relive how it’s like to experience life carefree, worry-free, and with loads of optimism.

It’s a year when I finally achieved the much elusive myth of a work-life balance as much as I wanted to believe I did so in my heart.

It is when as a result of a mix of child-like faith and fatigue from over-thinking, I finally learned to let go of what ifs and settle with what is.

I learned that after all this time, I do not have it all figured out, and is nowhere close in figuring it all out too soon, and I’m totally fine with it.

It’s a year when I allowed myself space to stumble  sometimes, to undercommit, and to take a few steps back  in order to allow myself some room to swing forward.

And yet with all this freedom, I sometimes still find myself trapped in a cycle of discovering myself momentarily, then being lost, and then somehow catching a glimpse of light from the end of this tunnel they call “adulthood.”

In my avid quest for clues of what to leave behind and where to go next, I suffered injuries emotionally. Just like having a physical sprain, only time is needed to allow it to heal.

I learned that it’s important to learn to forgive myself first of all and accept grace in order to move on.

Lastly, I realized that I really didn’t know how to love even when I thought I was mature enough to give it.

So cheers to this phase of both happiness and uncertainty! I believe it has been a crucial year for me to patch up some areas of my life I don’t want to look back to with regrets. It was a much needed year to propel me forward closer to my dreams and to my higher purpose in this life.

So good bye and thank you 23 and 2015, hello to much better and much more purposeful and fruitful years ahead!

 

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